This memorial website was created in the memory of my precious "NINO" Daniel Suarez who was born on October 10, 1993 and began his new life with our Lord in Heaven on February 20, 2009 at the age of 15. He will forever be in our hearts.
My sweet boy, momma misses you so much! Words can never express how much I miss you. Another Christmas has come and gone without you and it hurt my heart to not have you here with us. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas in Heaven my precious Nino.
My precious Nino boy...you would have been 17 years old this year (10/10/10). I miss you so much. We had a party for you. We released balloons with messages from the family, decorated your rest site, and left a balloon at Joe Kelly on the tree we planted in your memory. We love you Nino boy and we all miss you so much. Happy Birthday baby!
MY SWEET NINO'S 1ST ANGEL BIRTHDAY WAS SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2010. IT WAS NOT AN EASY MORNING AS I COULDN'T HELP BUT REMEMBER HIS LAST FEW MINUTES WITH US. THE TIME IT WAS WHEN I LAST GOT TO HOLD MY PRECIOUS CHILD BEFORE HE TOOK HIS LAST BREATH. THE PAIN JUST OVERWHELMED ME IT FELT AS THOUGH MY HEART WAS GOING TO BURST OUT OF MY CHEST, BUT I PUSHED MYSELF TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE PAIN SO THAT I COULD TRY TO GET THROUGH THE REST OF THE DAY FOR MY 3 REMAINING CHILDREN.
NINO, WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH AND STILL LOVE YOU WITH ALL OUR HEARTS. I HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY 1ST ANGEL BIRTHDAY.
Happy Birthday my sweet Nino boy!
October 10th would have been your 16th birthday son and it hurts me so much because I can't be with you for it but I know you will be having a wonderful time playing with the angels. I hope you know that I love you and miss you very much and not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Your sweet smile always touched my heart so deeply and I wish with all my heart that I could see you smile just one more time, even though it would only be in my dreams. I know you'll be smiling a lot on your birthday so I will close my eyes and imagine you there in heaven playing and running and enjoying your birthday as the boy you couldn't be here on this earth. Happy Birthday my Nino boy, momma loves you.
My son Daniel Santino Suarez, whom we nicknamed "Nino" passed away on February 20th, 2009. Six days after my birthday and the day before my husband's. He was 15 years old. Nino was a special needs child with multiple disabilities. He had PKU, Microcephaly (he only had the frontal lobe of his brain), Epilepsy, Cerebral Palsy, Scoliosis (which came later in his life) and was fed through a G-button. He couldn't walk or talk so I never heard him say "mommy" or even "I love you" but I knew he knew me and I knew he loved me. I would walk into his room to talk to him and he would smile so sweetly. I miss that smile so much.
He was hospitalized for a few weeks this past September (2008) because he was having seizures and breathing issues. Before we left the hospital they arranged for us to speak to a palliative doctor who informed my husband and I that our son's lungs weren't working properly and that his life expectancy depended on his health (i.e. colds, infections, etc.). It was suggested that we contact a hospice for him. He was discharged, but not without an oxygen machine, a suction machine,and a feeding machine.
We spent the next few months making sure that no one who was sick, not even with a sniffle, came around him or even upstairs where his room was. He only tolerated being taken downstairs with the family for short periods of time because he had a rod in his back from a surgery to help correct the scoliosis in January 2007, which caused discomfort and pain sometimes. His 15th birthday came and went as did his usual happiness. He now began to show signs of wanting to "let go" and very rarely smiled anymore. And although I could see it I still did not want to face it and give in to calling a hospice for him, but on January 23rd around 2:40am I woke up to hear somewhat of a scream come from him. I ran to his room to find that he was having a hard time breathing and he had actually stopped breathing for what seemed like forever before he exhaled. All I could do was cry because the fear overwhelmed me. I took him to the emergency room at Cooks Medical Center that morning where they took an x-ray of his chest to see if he had pneumonia (which he'd had several times throughout his life), but this time his lungs were clear. They found nothing. That is nothing that they could do anything about. The doctor basically said there's nothing we could find, but we're going to give you an antibiotic just in case. That was a slap of reality in my face. Later that afternoon...I called a hospice for my son.
He was admitted into the VITAS hospice program on January 28th, 2009. The first week and a half everything was normal. The hospice nurse only came when I called and I only called when I thought something was really wrong with my Nino. By the second week of February he was put on continuous care...nurses were at my house 24/7 to take care of my precious baby. This was the week before my birthday. My birthday came and went like any other day. I really didn't want to celebrate it but my mom had me go to her house for a small family party for myself and my niece and nephew. On the 15th, my dad took me to dinner, which I really didn't want to go to because I didn't want to leave my Nino, but my husband, Adrian, said I needed to get out for a bit. The following morning, I went in to check on Nino and his nurse said he seemed to be resting fine. I gave him a kiss and told him good morning and let him know that I would be back (I was going to take my daughter, Ricki, to take her driving test). They were closed so I dropped her off at my mom's and went back home. When I got home, I laid my little one (Aleesa) down for a nap and my brother came into the room to tell me that Nino's nurse wanted to speak to me. When I came out and saw his nurse my body just wanted to go limp and fall, I knew that what he was about to say couldn't be good. Then I heard the words I feared..."I think we need to transport him to the hospice unit at Baylor, it's that time". My body was numb and I had no idea what was going on. It's like my ears heard it and my body responded to it, but my heart didn’t believe it. Still I called Adrian and he left work, then I called my daughter, Ricki, and told her to cancel whatever she was about to go do and meet us at the hospital because they were about to take Nino to the hospice unit. She asked if he was going to be ok and I had to tell her "This is it, it's time". I'm sure she wasn't expecting that to come out of my mouth. Her brother had been to the hospital so many times throughout his life and he was always okay. This time would be different. I then called my dad, one of Nino's teachers (Jonnie) from his old school, Jo Kelly, and Nino's father. All I could do as I tried to tell them where Nino was being taken to, was cry. I had my brother get my younger son (D'Angelo) out of school early and when he got home I had to tell him that his brother wouldn't be with us much longer and he needed to tell him good bye now just in case he didn't get to later. That wasn't easy for me either. D'Angelo cried and went into Nino's room to talk to him and give him a kiss. He laid down with him and took their last picture of them together on his cell phone. It was heartbreaking.
By the time my husband got home the transport unit had just arrived and was about to take my Nino to the VITAS Hopsice unit at Baylor All Saints. My brother carried Nino down to the stretcher and we all gave him a kiss. I rode with him and my husband met us there with D'Angelo and Aleesa and Ricki met us there. When she went in to see Nino all she could do was sit next to him, lay her head on him and cry.
When the doctor went in to see Nino, he informed me that it would probably be days but not weeks for us to be with him. I never left the hospital while he was there. I slept with him in his bed and very rarely actually slept. My husband, Ricki, and D'Angelo also stayed with us every night. Family and friends were there from 8am till about 9pm every day. I'm sure Nino knew they were all there for him. He would have times when he would respond by opening his eyes and he even turned his head to me once when he heard me talking. There were a few times that I asked the nurses and the doctor if it could be a mistake. If maybe the diagnosis was wrong and he would be okay, but they all told me that it was normal for them to respond sometimes...it was part of the dying process. I also read it in a book, I was just hoping that the book, the nurses and doctor were wrong. On the morning he passed away, earlier that morning, I woke up because I felt something was wrong. I woke up to my son slowly breathing then stopping, then starting slowly again, then stopping again. I knew it would be my last day with him and I cried continuously before I stopped to wake up Adrian and tell him how Nino was doing. I laid down back down next to Nino and cried while my husband sat next to him, laid his head next to him and held his hand and cried also. After a while Adrian got up and called Nino's father and my aunt Pamela to tell them that we didn't think Nino had much time. I was still crying and my crying woke up Ricki. She got up and asked me what was wrong and I told her that I didn't think her brother would be with us much longer and she began to cry hard and loud. When she did this Nino started to breath a little more! I knew why. As family arrived to say their good-byes I looked at my precious child laying their appearing to be already lifeless and it hurt me so much to see him that way and not be able to do anything for him. I knew he was holding on because he was worried about his sister. He began to breathe a little more when she cried, but I just knew in my heart that he wanted to let go but he couldn't. I talked to my daughter and told her how I felt, that I didn't like seeing him like that and I let her know that for her brother's sake she had to let him know that she would be okay and he could go now. We both went into the room and I had anyone else in there leave for a moment. As I laid next to Nino, Ricki sat on the other side of him, cried and hesitated to speak. Again, I told her that she had to tell him. As she spoke to him tears ran down her face and my heart hurt not only for my son that was leaving me but also for my daughter who was hurting because she was losing her brother. Shortly after Ricki told him she'd be okay, his color changed, his breathing changed and again he would stop for 20 to 30 seconds before exhaling again. About 15 minutes after Ricki spoke to him I held my sweet, precious Nino as he took his last breath and left this earth, but when I looked at him his body took 2 last spaced breaths (I was told this was normal), which scared me and it's something I may never forget, but I'm glad that I got to hold my baby and tell him I loved him one more time before he left this earth. We miss him dearly and will love him always.
If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today. While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand
And said my place was ready, in heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do, it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all that we had shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while, I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, that this could never be, for emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you." Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day is the same way, there's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free. So won't you come and take my hand, and share my life with me
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart...